You tell me Self Esteem

I've been meaning to do a post on self-esteem for a little while. I went to look it up, because I really hate to be wrong about things when a little work can help me can avoid it. And one thing you pick up after years of grad school ... definitions are important. If you can't define something, how can you study it?

So. Self-esteem. Oh, goodness. Google it, and you'll get tons of definitions.

I'm going to go with this one: a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth.

Now, please, please tell me, friends, and just give me the first answer that pops into your head: How's yours? Is your overall self-esteem high or low?

And now, tell me this: Is your self-esteem as a writer higher or lower than your self-esteem in other areas of your life? Why?

Does your self-esteem (overall and in specific areas of your life) change by the day or is it constant? Has it changed slowly over time one way or the other? Does it depend on external events, or does it come from inside you?

You don't really have to tell me if you don't want to. But think about it.

I'll talk about this more on Friday ...

And for the Sisterhood of the Traveling Blog this month, a fascinating question from Lydia: “In my writing, I have never______” or, in reverse if you so choose, “In my writing, I always______.” Laura's doing her post this week, so be sure to check it out!

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Im running with the Olympic torch! WAIT WHAT !

May, 2011

"She's just sitting there doing nothing, look at her."

"Yeah, she's been like that for ages. I'm worried, I really am."

"We need to do something. Throw something at her, make her at least breathe a bit deeper."

"Or move." 

"Or that. She shuffles like Pingu now, have you noticed?"

"Hahaha yeah, and she does that thing you know-"

"That *demonstrates* thing yeah hahaha."

"Hahahahahaha."

"*sigh* What a numpty."

*louise stands up, walks to the window, stares out, goes at sits back down to continue scrolling*

"Oh."

"I thought we had progress there."

"I've had enough. Let's make something big happen, like, like PUTTING HER ON TELE!"

"But she's already done that, and coped disappointingly well with it. Formed actual coherent sentences, did some funnies. I even made Jon Snow ask her if she KNITS, and she didn't bat an eyelid."

"True. We need to put her on tele but make her uncomfortable or embarrassed."

"Embarrassing Bodies."

"She's tweets about her boobs, I hardly think that would faze her."

"Slut."

"What does she hate doing?"

"Moving, we've established that."

"Let's make her run."

"But she can't-"

"Running."

"It's a non starte-"

"Running."

"She'll HURT HERSE-"

"Running with fire."

"Look you can't ju-...wait, what?"

"Let's make her run with fire."

"...you are ridiculous. I thought you making her put orange peel up her nose was too far, but THIS?"

"Look, she was only meant to stick it up there a BIT, so it DANGLED, not stick it up so far she nearly DIED."

"You really think we should do this? HOW? Running with fire's not a nor-"

*chariots of fire plays*


"Oh. Oh I see. I SEE. The Olympics! We should make her a TORCHBEARER! You, my friend, are a genius. This is perfect."


"She'll look a mentalist. Remember the bin incident?"


"RAN INTO IT! Still got the scar. "


"Has her toenail grown back from her last running attempt?"

"Idiot. She knew those converses were too small for her."

"Tsk, converses."

"Conhurtses.....HAHAHAHAHA-"

"Stop."

"..."

"So, are we gonna do this then? Make her a torchbearer? Run in front of the nation, in a uniform, grasping a torch alight with THE flame, and, have I mentioned, IN FRONT OF THE NATION?!?!"


*louise turns around quizzically. "Muuuum." "Yeah?" "Did you say something?" "No, but if you want to hoov-" turns up music.*

"Shhuusshhh, we need to keep quiet about this. SHE needs to keep quiet about this....for 10 months."

"TEN? She could have a baby in that time."

"Yeah well I'm not mentioning that palava again, she actually liked that suggestion."

"Send the email then. Go on. Make them choose her. Louise Jones, part of a historical incredible event. Louise Jones. *sobs* Louise Jones THIS IS LOUISE JONES SHE'LL BE A RIGHT TIT NO STO-"

"Done."

"...you've sent it?"

"Yep. Look..."

*louise leans forward towards her laptop. she gasps, mumbling "Shitting hell." before running downstairs screaming "MUUUUM! THEY WANT ME TO RUN WITH THE BLOODY TORCH NEXT YEAR! THEY WANT ME TO...hold on...they want me to RUN..."*

"Oh, God."

"Let the games begin."



March, 2012

Yep. This is happening. I got an email last May asking if I wanted to be a Torchbearer. Not saying I'd be nominated, but that I could just BE one. Yeah, they trust me THAT MUCH with this. Idiots. So, obviously, I said yes, but until now I've had to keep it a secret. I've learnt that when I'm asked to be the next Doctor Who companion I can easily keep THAT a secret after this (Moffat, call me whenevs).

I'm running on Friday 6th July, around 6pm, in Brentwood, and I want loads of you there! This is a pretty big deal so the streets lined with you lot would be ace. I, evidently, cannot run, so need the moral support and dignity put-back-togetherers. Also, if any media type people want to cover me/it then email me: louiseemilyjones@gmail.com. (that's a technicality of this i've been asked to say, i'm not being arrogant, promise)

One foot in front of the other, how hard can it be? VERY HARD, ESPECIALLY WITH A BLOODY EXPENSIVE TORCH THAT'S ON FIRE AND THE WORLD WATCHING. HELP ME. FOR THE LOVE OF NANS. HELP ME. Yeah s'fine whatever love it easy shut up.

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CCHHARRRGGGEEE!!!!

GUESS WHAT?! NO SERIOUSLY, GUESS! I'M NOT TELLING YOU SO JUST TRY! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS FINE. OH FINE I'LL TELL YOU.

pauljchambers: Yes, probably to the detriment of my mental wellbeing, I am appealing the decision as best I can. Purple firebananas.


WAHOOO! *dons party hat, blows kazoo, goes crazy with clackers* Paul Chambers is officially appealing to the High Court. We're standing our ground men! And ladies. MELADIES. Which happens to sound like melodies, which is a nice tune, meaning THIS IS A NICE THING. I'm going slightly off track.

HOWEVER, apart from the fact that this is brilliant news that Paul is going to carry on fighting his case, it does mean that he needs a hell of a lot of money to do it. £10,000 in fact. Can he pay that alone? No. It's a bloody hefty sum that, to prove to old Jackie Davo that he's a joker. So help him! Even a small amount will help, and seeing as I don't have a credit/debit card "I don't trust you Louise." I need people to do it for me. Here's the link  http://bit.ly/be8ike go give him all your wages for the next five years, then a bit more a donation of your choice, ahem.

NEWS JUST IN *presses finger to ear to hear from the gallery* There's even more exciting news to add the money news relating to the other more important news that involves A GIGIGIGIG. A gig. With comedians and such like. Awesome right? BE THERE. Or be spherical.

Another thing to BE THERE for is the High Court day. Hellsyeah I'm gonna be there *starts perfecting mum's signature* and I plan to BE THERE BE THERE, ifyaknowhattimean. I plan to awake at a time I haven't decided yet, I then plan to tweet that I am awake and rearing to kick some law ass, I will then wear this

and make my way to London with an 'I AM SPARTACUS' sign on my head. Once there, I will tweet my arrival and gather the troops. We shall have a serious pep talk in our matching outfits, although one member will be dressed as a squirrel. I'm yet to decide who shall bear that fate. Once briefed, we shall line up in a 'don't cross us, bitch' like formation, weapons at the ready,  waiting for the countdown. When the large oak doors to the courtroom dramatically fling open, silence will fall for approximately 5.25 seconds, before a large bellowing voice coming from somewhere within me will boom "ON THREE SOLDIERS. ONE. TWO. TTHHRRREEEEE!!!!!!" and then WE SHALL DANCE with our heads held high, fingers-a-tweeting, march into that courtroom to hear the judge quietly announce "Ohhhh, I get it now. LOL."

THEN WE SHALL ERUPT WITH JOY, THROW OUR HELMETS IN THE AIR (not a euphamism), AND SURF CROWD PAUL BACK TO IRELAND, VIA ROBIN HOOD AIRPORT.

You in? Cos this shit just got realz.

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